Skip to main content

Practice at your own peril





I am anxious, insecure, and always afraid of being wrong. What is worse, I am always afraid that the person who says I’m wrong is better than I am.
Hence, I need to check quickly the ideas that come into my head, and always state with some jovial unease that it is quite possible that I might be wrong. In spite of being quite sure of its correctness.

While not stating my ideas at all may seem like the easier route - I have found that insecure persons (like I) often cannot delay indefinitely and it is hard for them to develop their ideas in silence, waiting for the “truth” to be suddenly revealed to them. That is why, I like to discover, to expand - these still imperfect ideas and bear people’s reactions.
A difficult game, because it does not always consist of being reassured when you meet with argument and having doubts when you are faced with dissent.
Sometimes, you have to follow the opposite course: Distrust agreement and find in dissent the confirmation of your own intuitions. There is no rule, there is only the risk of contradiction.
But sometimes, you have to speak because you feel the moral obligation to say something, not because you have the “scientific” certainty that you are saying it in an unassailable way.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Portrait of a criminal as a young thug

He is five feet and eleven inches tall, hundred and three kgs heavy, with sweaty arms and a glistening moustache, shoulder length black hair oiled and tied into a small ponytail. He has a wild demeanour and suspicious eyes.

Rude Awakening Series: You might find it offensive. But so is the world around us.

It has been one year and nine months since my last entry. A lot has happened since. The dude who used to say “You’re fired” on reality television is now the very real President of United States of A, Delhi beat Beijing to become the most polluted city in the world by a chest-thumping margin, the planet regardless of our skeptical opinions has continued to become warmer - putting the birds and bees out of business. On the other hand, some things haven’t changed. North Korea is still batshit ballistic, China ghost towns are at best dead, Japan is LOCO but still zen, fortunes (as usual) have waxed and waned to the changing tides of tax reforms, share prices and demonetisation.

If there is a hidden lesson over the months that I have learnt, it is this - nothing changes or gets better in this world unless we act (as opposed to react) upon it. And it is with this foolhardy notion that I once again set about to write; to abuse, to anger, with a direct intent to offend the blogosphere. Becau…

Other names: Kaai

#6
Kaai and I had been driving for ten hours straight from Udupi, threading our way through the NH66 which ran all along the western coast. It was a last minute plan put together in all of twenty minutes by Kaai during the tea break. We would drive 700km to the Osho Ashram in Pune to get our hands on the hip new Osho sandals before anyone else in class. It was a bit much but this was 2006 and Osho was all the rage. ‘A little adventure won’t hurt’, he said. Little did we imagine that for one of us, this trip would last a lifetime.

I learned that Kaai was a very spiritual person. He hid that side of himself under rock band t-shirts, ripped jeans and the old bubblegum beret that he refused to part with even while he slept. It took me by surprise when he brought up ‘god’ literally in the middle of nowhere.

We passed a little kid who was throwing stones at the cars on the road.
“Think of it”, Kaai said.
“One day he’s going to throw a stone that will carry out his na├»ve but horrible in…